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Yes. No way. Maybe.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Why, oh why would I even consider such a thing?

After Monkey was born I started to systematically rid myself of all the baby things I would no longer need, now that I was DONE, so so so DONE, I am never going to do that again, twice was plenty, thank you very much.

Every new onesie and pair of socks he grew out of, week after week, went right into a bag, handed over to a good friend without a second thought .

We moved to Argentina when he was just two months old, so I gave away all the winter maternity clothes that I would have no need for in my new warmer climate. When I no longer needed maternity clothes at all (yay!), I quickly gave those away, too.

All the baby clothes, blankets, breast pumping gear, baby toys, and baby books have been dutifully packed up and given away as soon as they were no longer in use. We don't have much (any) storage space, so decluttering this way was a no-brainer.

The bit of remaining baby gear we have -- a few slings, a sling-accommodating jacket, an umbrella stroller, nursing bras (arrgh, I am soooo sick of them) -- haven't disappeared yet because we're still using them. But now, I am starting to think I should hang on to them, JUST IN CASE.

What is going on?

I've just started to get this feeling. Maybe we're not done. SHHHH! I'm not even sure if I really said that.

I'm only thinking about it at all because I feel like if we're not done, than NOW is the time.

I don't want my kids to be much farther apart in age than they would be if we don't get started now. And I don't want my stay-at-home-mom years to extend much longer into the future. I don't want to start all over again with a baby after I am already enjoying some of the freedom I will have when my other two are more independent. And I don't want to push my luck with my age and my fertility - if I do want to have another kid, then I should get on it nowish, soonish.

This post is going to stay short, because I am writing on the YES theme today as part of Momalom's Five for Ten blogfest. And I don't have a whole lot of YES to say on this topic. It is more like a maybe? NO! but? NO! if? NO!

(In case you're wondering, Macondo Papa feels pretty much the same way about all this.)

Nonetheless, here I am saying maybe. (But NO!) I clearly have a lot of 'no' posts in me on this topic that I need to get out, but here's a shot at the yes:

- I love being pregnant.

- I love trying and getting pregnant.

- I love walking around with a little bitsy bundle in a sling.

- Babies are yummy. Toddlers are delicious. Preschoolers are, um, fascinating.

- Chances are that my labour would be too fast to subject me to the way-too-prevalent emergency C-sections here in Argentina.

- He/she would get the best papa in the world, and two fabulous big brothers.

- If I survive until they are all school age, I think they and I will love having a biggish family.

- It is entirely possible that I could have a GIRL (a really, really bad reason, but if I am going to be perfectly honest, this possibility is the only reason that the NOs haven't already won by a landslide).

What I think I need is one of those accidents/surprises other people sometimes have. But that would entail Macondo Papa and I deciding to see if maybe we could have an accident. Because we're like that. And then we'd be right back where we are right now.

Okay, should I actually publish this post? Yes.


Cheryl said...

I love this! My first two are close in age (21 months apart) and then we had a "surprise" who is 3 1/2 years younger than the now middle child. I have to say, if you're at all thinking you might want a third, this is what sold me: my girlfriend said "You'll never regret having a third, but you MIGHT regret not having one!" Not to be an enabler or anything.. ;)

Visiting from momalom!

Elisa, Croatia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Elisa, Croatia said...

ahhh, I can totally hear you girl. My older sister and I were just discussing this. She Has two boys. 4 and 3. and she and hubby are wondering about the 3rd. For us it seems normal since there are 3 sisters in our family. Plus she would like to have a baby girl and so would he, they are in love with by daughter (the only niece amongst 5 nephews!). For me, I'm still waiting to get over my delivery experience and uncertaintly if we are staying or leaving Croatia. I know excuses.
But if you and hubby are having maybes no/yes then Your heart would tell you that if it happened you both would be very very happy. yeah

Naptimewriting said...

Oh my word, this is exactly where I am. Naptime Dad says NOOOOO but I'm considering maybe. It's just the hormones, right? It's the delicious bundle in a sling that's doing this to me.
But I totally hear you on allowing a maybe to hang out there for a day.

Lauren @ Embrace The Detour said...

Oh fun! Visiting from Momalom and so glad to have found you and this post. Are you taking bets? Because if so, I'm putting bets on a bun in your oven in the near future. This feels to me like a yes disguised as a maybe. :)

kate said...

...looks like you have the fever!!! ;) great post!

Deborah said...

Been there... but didn't do it, mostly because we had three, and our second two were twins, and it would have involved yet more fertility treatment. But I still grieved when I let go of the possibility.

macondo mama said...

Oh, yay, comments! But hold on Lauren and kate! This was just the yes post. I really have so much 'no' to say on the topic as well. Though it is a bit of a niggling yes...

Cheryl - what you say about regret is I think what keeps the niggle alive.

Elisa - this is exactly why I think I might need an 'accident'.

Naptime - wow, you are already thinking maybe! Sounds promising, or maybe like hormones, or maybe like there is lots of yummy baby snuggling going on in your house right now. But my current state of post-hormone sleep deprivation is not exactly a more clear-headed time for decision-making either.

Deborah - yes, grieving (and being relieved) about letting go of the possibility is my other option, which I am still holding on to quite tightly. Do you still think about it? And wow, twins!

Justine said...

I think there is baby fever out there - something in the air maybe? One that even traveled all the way down to Argentina. I am itching for my second, and I'm surrounded by pregnant second-timers. I'm not sure we're ready to commit to a second, but we would definitely be fine if it happens (kind of like your "accident" - the hoping, not wanting). :)

Belinda Munoz + The Halfway Point said...

Funny! My husband and I only have one and are lingering in the Maybe for a second one. But last night, we thought about if we were to have an "accident" it would be totally OK. A Yes to an accident? Maybe!

Gappy said...

He he hee Macondo Mama... I'm sensing a little something in the air. A little sniff of possibility.. Shall be following your blog with interest!

Sarah said...

Oh I adore this post! I'm there right now too. More leaning toward the YES side, actually, but there just the same. The thing I keep asking myself is Will I Regret It Later if I don't Just TRY?!

#3 was a complete and total accident and I would love for that to happen again. Alas, my current situation does not make that possible. So here I am, with you, trying to decide. Hating to decide. But waffling on it all nonetheless.

Kelly said...

My List of Yes would match yours with one addition: baby smiles. Babies have the yummiest, gummiest, most delicious smile in the whole world.

Ehemm. However. I have two and absolutely ndesire to have any more, though my husband isn't so convinced. My List of No is overwhelming, and I share it with him often.

I will say, if you aren't sure then you most likely aren't done-done. Good luck!

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