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Here goes...

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Ok, so this is kind of pathetic, and kind of cheating, but here goes anyways.

I have tentatively decided to try to participate in a blog 'event' organized by Momalom, called Five for Ten. It seems like a great way to create and participate in some bloggy conversations with many writers I have been reading regularly for some time now.

But...I'm feeling pretty lame. There are writing themes. There are five different topics to write about, one every two days, for the ten-day period. And I find this scary. Very Scary.*

Because I am not a creative writer. I am not creative. And before anyone says that everyone is creative, I say Shut Up.

In a completely meaningless way, it is true - but I feel much more like crying and/or fleeing when asked to be creative than I do like creating.

I can do crafty (I sold necklaces and earrings I made on streets in Vancouver and beaches in Chile). I can do basic design-y (I made some pretty nice posters and pamphlets at my last job).

But I get unreasonably panicky when I am put on the spot to create.

Like those horrible workshop ice-breakers when you're supposed to get all creative on the spot and give your name a food-related adjective, so everyone can laugh and then remember your name? Yeah, I get remembered as the one who made up the lame example and had that shaky, almost-crying voice when she had to say it out loud. (Sounds like I'm shy, but really it's the whole creative thing that makes me freeze up this way).

Luckily for me, I don't have to read this out loud in front of a group of people, or draw or sing anything, or have any good ideas at all, really. The first topic is COURAGE, so I'm going to try and find some. I'll just see how it goes, and try to find some easy ways to cheat by cramming some of the posts I was already working on into the writing themes. And then maybe run away and hide for a bit.


*And probably impossible because of time constraints, but that's a different issue altogether.


Sarah said...

Oh no. Not scary. Not scary at all. I think you should abolish the word "creative" from your thoughts if it trips you up that much. The best thing to do is write from the heart, as if no one is reading. And the words will come. We all have them in us. We just need to find the heart to get them out.

I know you can do it. And we'll be here along the way. Keep at it.

Anonymous said...

No need to hide!! And like Sarah says get rid of the "creative" part and just write from the heart. Look how well you did on this, your first Five for Ten post!

Anonymous said...

I don't do well with assignments. I get pissy and declare that I'm not in school and don't want to have an assignment, while I secretly think, "if everyone's writing about the same thing, my post will be stupid in comparison so I'd better pretend I don't like assignments..." even though I think it's cool that everyone else is participating.
You have plenty of courage. And creativity. And honesty, which is all that matters, anyway.

macondo mama said...

Thanks Sarah and Squishy (ha!), I think it's good advice. I'm going to give it a try right now...

Naptime, you rock. You nailed all the reasons this is hard for me, and then you made feel good. Thank you!

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