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a list i like: how to be a good friend to a parent

Saturday, July 18, 2009

procrastinate-y blog-reading led me to this great list, from here:

Concrete things you can do to support parents/or childcare givers and children in your community.


  • Give children attention; talk to them, not about them, in a regular voice.
  • Don’t get upset if they don’t want to talk to you when you do.
  • Develop a consistent relationship with the children in your life. Set up a weekly or monthly date with a child.
  • Speak up for childcare issues in all areas of what you do. Don’t let it fall to the parent to have to ask about childcare, or if it is a child friendly event.
  • In general, feel free to ask a parent or childcare giver if you can help out when you see them “multi-tasking” (code word for overwhelmed, freaking out, having a melt down), and of course be gracious if they say no thank you.
  • Smile at parents.
  • Remember parenting doesn’t equal mothering; ask fathers how they are feeling as well.
  • If you are throwing a party, hosting a meeting, planning a running street protest, announce that it is or is not a child friendly event. And if for some reason the event is not, make sure you are prepared to help parents stay involved: child care, classes for older kids.
  • Create a space for children in your home: have some books to read and a toy or two to share when some little one (or not so little) comes over.
  • Look at the world from child’s height
  • Know how to change a diaper
  • If you’re dating a parent offer to chip in on childcare costs while on a date
  • Call your own parents regularly: remember you were a child
  • Take the initiative to invite parents to events or to just hang out, even if they decline…parents often feel isolated.
  • Remember parenting doesn’t end with infancy; parents of older children need allies too.
  • And of course buy yourself and parents alternative books and zines about parenting…yes shameless plug

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